I am too busy.

This is not a shock to anyone, apart from me. Actually, I’m aware of this, but I’m just really used to being booked up. Every now and then, though, I reach what I like to call “critical mass”. Critical mass usually occurs about 3 times each year and most recently, I reached this point approximately 3 weeks ago.

Why am I so busy? Good question, hard to answer. With what am I so busy, however, is easier for me to tackle. Here’s what’s keeping me from relaxing:

  • Work. My job is a thinker, for sure. I’ve got lots to do, lots to write, questions to answer, solutions to find, et cetera. I often work late, causing me to miss dance/yoga classes.
  • I volunteer. This is a good thing. It’s fun and I meet and work with awesome people. 4 months until showtime (www.pacifictattoo.ca). Like any work by committee, everything takes many steps and lots of emails.
  • I teach. Currently, I teach 2 classes each week. One is very low-key and stress-free, the other requires significantly more preparation, has lower turnout and is less conveniently located (both in time and space).
  • Work #2. I am working on getting some contract work I can do on the side. This is in line with my goals for my career.
  • Learning. I’m taking another design course at Camosun. This is awesome, but means on Thursdays, I’m out of the house from 8 am until 10 pm straight.

This may not look like a lot, but it is. What’s happened is that I’ve gotten burned out, which then leaves me tired and generally cranky. My schedule is so tight that it’s nearly impossible to accomplish any chores. For example, I’ve been in need of an oil change for a couple of months now, getting groceries has become nigh impossible and a trip to Costco may as well be a trip to Moscow, for the amount of planning required.

Being this busy has meant that I’ve lost touch with a few things I really value, like:

  • Sleep. Getting to bed on time has become tricky, because there’s too much to do. Since learning last year that I do not actually function on 5-6 hours, getting 7-8 has been my new rule. If I’m up too late, I can’t drag my sorry rear out of bed in time for the next thing I’m missing:
  • My fitness regime. I’m ALWAYS up at 6 am, doing yoga before work. This leaves my afternoons free for a run/dance class. Missing my mornings, because I’ve slept in, due to overtiredness, makes me VERY unhappy. It gnaws at me, all day. It feels like I didn’t get to give myself the time I need for me. Not good. This makes Bay unhappy (and then I feel fat and ugly. I realize there is more going on in this equation, but a feeling’s a feeling, so there it is.).
  • Friends/family. I have been trying to slot these very important people into the wee gaps between other engagements. It’s not fair to them and it sucks for me (because I don’t get time with people I value being around).
  • Adam. We’re like ships passing in the night, on different hemispheres. I’m always rushing out, blowing hurried (and harried) kisses from the door. My marriage deserves better, as does Adam. So do I, for that matter.
  •  I realize I need to cut back on activities. This will be hard because of things like tuition and contracts (teaching). I’m working on streamlining right now.
  • I probably can’t free up too much right now, but will be reducing my teaching (or at least just teaching where I really enjoy teaching) as soon as my current contract is up.
  • After this InDesign course wraps up in 6 weeks (first one is tonight), I’m not signing up for more classes in the foreseeable future.
  • I will pay more attention to leaving work on time.
  • I WILL get up and at ‘em at 6 am, beginning tomorrow, because hating myself for being lazy is not cool.

Those are my goals. I’m sure once I achieve them, I’ll be blogging about how bored I am with my spare time. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it…

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