I am too busy.
This is not a shock to anyone, apart from me. Actually, Iâ€™m aware of this, but Iâ€™m just really used to being booked up. Every now and then, though, I reach what I like to call â€œcritical massâ€. Critical mass usually occurs about 3 times each year and most recently, I reached this point approximately 3 weeks ago.
Why am I so busy? Good question, hard to answer. With what am I so busy, however, is easier for me to tackle. Hereâ€™s whatâ€™s keeping me from relaxing:
- Work. My job is a thinker, for sure. Iâ€™ve got lots to do, lots to write, questions to answer, solutions to find, et cetera. I often work late, causing me to miss dance/yoga classes.
- I volunteer. This is a good thing. Itâ€™s fun and I meet and work with awesome people. 4 months until showtime (www.pacifictattoo.ca). Like any work by committee, everything takes many steps and lots of emails.
- I teach. Currently, I teach 2 classes each week. One is very low-key and stress-free, the other requires significantly more preparation, has lower turnout and is less conveniently located (both in time and space).
- Work #2. I am working on getting some contract work I can do on the side. This is in line with my goals for my career.
- Learning. Iâ€™m taking another design course at Camosun. This is awesome, but means on Thursdays, Iâ€™m out of the house from 8 am until 10 pm straight.
This may not look like a lot, but it is. Whatâ€™s happened is that Iâ€™ve gotten burned out, which then leaves me tired and generally cranky. My schedule is so tight that itâ€™s nearly impossible to accomplish any chores. For example, Iâ€™ve been in need of an oil change for a couple of months now, getting groceries has become nigh impossible and a trip to Costco may as well be a trip to Moscow, for the amount of planning required.
Being this busy has meant that Iâ€™ve lost touch with a few things I really value, like:
- Sleep. Getting to bed on time has become tricky, because thereâ€™s too much to do. Since learning last year that I do not actually function on 5-6 hours, getting 7-8 has been my new rule. If Iâ€™m up too late, I canâ€™t drag my sorry rear out of bed in time for the next thing Iâ€™m missing:
- My fitness regime. Iâ€™m ALWAYS up at 6 am, doing yoga before work. This leaves my afternoons free for a run/dance class. Missing my mornings, because Iâ€™ve slept in, due to overtiredness, makes me VERY unhappy. It gnaws at me, all day. It feels like I didnâ€™t get to give myself the time I need for me. Not good. This makes Bay unhappy (and then I feel fat and ugly. I realize there is more going on in this equation, but a feelingâ€™s a feeling, so there it is.).
- Friends/family. I have been trying to slot these very important people into the wee gaps between other engagements. Itâ€™s not fair to them and it sucks for me (because I donâ€™t get time with people I value being around).
- Adam. Weâ€™re like ships passing in the night, on different hemispheres. Iâ€™m always rushing out, blowing hurried (and harried) kisses from the door. My marriage deserves better, as does Adam. So do I, for that matter.
- Â I realize I need to cut back on activities. This will be hard because of things like tuition and contracts (teaching). Iâ€™m working on streamlining right now.
- I probably canâ€™t free up too much right now, but will be reducing my teaching (or at least just teaching where I really enjoy teaching) as soon as my current contract is up.
- After this InDesign course wraps up in 6 weeks (first one is tonight), Iâ€™m not signing up for more classes in the foreseeable future.
- I will pay more attention to leaving work on time.
- I WILL get up and at â€˜em at 6 am, beginning tomorrow, because hating myself for being lazy is not cool.
Those are my goals. Iâ€™m sure once I achieve them, Iâ€™ll be blogging about how bored I am with my spare time. Iâ€™ll cross that bridge when I come to itâ€¦