Who knew yoga could be this stressful?

So, I’m trying to balance a full-time job, teaching yoga, following a traditional Ashtanga practice (6 practice days per week) and still having time to sleep.

Teaching at the school I attend is tricky, because, well, the studio’s having some financial trouble (translated: we don’t get paid very often). I was teaching two classes for a government group that wants onsite yoga, but we’ve trimmed it down to one over the summer. I was pretty stoked to only teach two classes, but a teaching offer has come up that is really great. Only thing is, it’s for a Sunday class, which means no weekends away.

Adam doesn’t think I should take it without dropping another class, but that’s so hard. The class to drop, without question, is the one at my school, for many reasons (not getting paid is but one of a myriad of reasons), but I also love my students there. So, to solve it, Adam and I just fought about it and now it’s an hour and a half past when I should’ve gone to bed, seeing’s how I’m up at 6 am to practice.

Seriously. Yoga is stressing me out. That looks wrong even to read… sigh.

Where’d I leave my bliss at?

So, it occurs to me that people in general aren’t super happy. Not about anything in particular, but mostly about everything. And I think that, maybe, the problem is we assume that’s okay. People assume we have to be unhappy, or at least just not not be unhappy, if that makes any sense. Adam deciding to go into coaching has me thinking about this even more.

To spend your life in pursuit of pleasure is considered hedonism, which is not something we, as a society, feel is a respectable pursuit. Apparently, the pursuit of drudgery, cynicism and a general sense of malaise is much more apropos to life in our fast lane.

I dunno: I kind of think life is short, so we should enjoy it. I mean, assuming that whatever you enjoy isn’t harming anyone else or directly inhibiting their pursuits, that is. I know this is pretty simplistic and there are a million arguments about why my simplistic views on life and happiness won’t work in the real world. But that’s okay. I guess as long as there are more people who assume that a life of not-happiness is a given, then it makes more room for me to find my happy way.

I’m looking for a way to live my life with passion, filled with happiness and pleasure. Moments of joy. I’ll always be looking for them, not because I don’t think I’ll find them, but because it’s a journey I wouldn’t want to be over.

If this doesn't make you smile, there's nothing I can do to help you.